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高三英语书面表达评讲专题课件_图文

书面表达 评讲探讨

书面表达如何写?
1、审题 文字信息 图画信息

题材、人称、时态、要点
五 个 步 骤 2、以词及点:用一两个单词或短语写出每句 话的细节要点。 3、联词成句:用联词成句的方法将上述要点 的词语扩展成句子。 4 、联句成文: ①主语和谓语
②背景(适当增加时间、地点条件等)

注意:

③逻辑关系 ④开头与结尾 ⑤语篇衔接

5、检查修改,规范抄写

黄冈市2009年三月高三年级质量检测书面表达: 第二节:短文写作(共1题,满分25分) 假如你是某公司的产品推销员,请用英语介绍下面 的产品: 1. 产品名称:NOAH-DICT 2. 产地: 中国深圳 3. 厂家:Chengxin Company Ltd. 4. 产品特点:电子词典,储存百万单词和短语,实 现中英互译,仿真人发音,提供电子书籍下载功能。采 用20年的研究成果,由高级电脑科技控制,轻金属制成, 体小,易携带,易操作,价格合理。 注意:词数100左右。

five steps for the writing practice:

Step 1: examine the topic
说明文 (Introductory Writing ) Style:__________________________________
present tense:______________ third person:___________

Step 2: list the main points 1. 产品名称 name NOAH-DICT / the product whose name is NOAH-DICT 2. 产地

make/ produce in Shenzhen
3. 电子词典 electronic dictionary / e-dictionary

4. 储存百万单词和词汇
store millions of words and phrases with a capacity of millions of words and phrases 5. 实现中英互译 perform a two-way translation 6. 仿真人发音 imitate / resemble a real person’s pronunciation 7. 提供电子书籍下载功能 provide / have the function of downloading electronic books

Step 2: list the main points 8. 采用20年的研究成果 adopt / apply the technical result accumulate by 20-year research 9. 由高级电脑科技控制

control by high / advanced technology
10. 轻金属制成 be made of light metal 11. 体小 small in size / its volume is very small 12. 易携带 easy to carry / it is convenient to carry 13. 易操作 easy to operate 14. 价格合理

price is reasonable / sell at an attractive price

Step 3: make some sentences:
1. 产品名称 产地 电子词典

NOAH-DICT is an electronic dictionary made in Shenzhen.
2. 储存百万单词和词汇 The dictionary can store 1 million words and phrases.

3. 实现中英互译
The dictionary can make a two-way translation between Chinese and English come true. 4. 仿真人发音 The dictionary can imitate a real person’s pronunciation. It also provides the function of downloading e-books.

5. 提供电子书籍下载功能 6. 采用20年的研究成果

It is the technical result of the company’s 20-year research. 7.由高级电脑科技控制 It is controlled by advanced computer technology.

8. 轻金属制成 体小 易携带 It is made of light metal and its volume is small, so it is convenient to carry. 9.易操作 价格合理

It is easy to operate and its price is reasonable.

Step 4:

Connect the sentences
and make some appolishment.

Step 5: Copy it out carefully and clearly.

One possible version(参考范文) NOAH-DICT is a very powerful e-dictionary made in Shenzhen, China. It is the latest product of Chengxin Company Ltd. with a large vocabulary of 1 million words and terms stored in it. So you can look up any word you meet in your Senior period. What’s more, the e-dictionary can perform a two-way translation between Chinese and English, which helps you study more efficiently. Additionally, it can perfectly imitate a real person’s pronunciation. It also provides the function of downloading e-books. NOAH-DICT is controlled by advanced computer technology, which is the technical result of the company’s 20-year research. The body of the NOAH-DICT is made of light metal. Therefore it is small in size and very convenient to carry. Besides, it is easy to operate. The price is reasonable. It is a wise choice for English learners.

高 考 短 文 写 作 评 分 标 准

第五档(很好):(21-25分)要点完整,表达清楚,无重大语法错误。 完全完成了试题规定的任务。 --覆盖所有内容要点。 --应用了较多的语法结构和词汇。 --语法结构或词汇方面有些许错误,但为尽力使用较复杂结构或词汇所致; 具备较强的语言运用能力。 --有效地使用了语句间的连接成分,使全文结构紧凑。 完全达到了预期的写作目的。 第四档(好):(16-20分)表达基本清楚,缺少个别要点,有些语法错误。 完成了试题规定的任务。 --覆盖主要内容。 --应用的语法结构和词汇能满足任务的要求。 --语法结构或词汇方面应用基本准确,些许错误主要是因为尝试较复杂语 法结构或词汇所致。 --应用简单的语句间的连接成分,使全文结构紧凑。 达到了预期的写作目的。 第三档(适当):(11-15分)尚能表达,缺少多个要点,语法错误较多。 基本完成了试题规定的任务。 --基本覆盖主要内容。 --应用的语法结构或词汇能基本满足任务的要求。 --有一些语法结构或词汇方面的错误,但不影响理解。 --应用简单的语句间的连接成分,使全文内容连贯。 整体而言,基本达到了预期的写作目的。

第四部分:书面表达(满 【分析】基本表 分25分) 中国式英语 假设你是卜曼宜,你购 达清楚;时态运 买了一部某外国公司生 用恰当;采用了 产的手机,因有质量问 题,要求该公司更换。 些简单连接手法; 请根据下列要点,用英 内容较连贯;准 文写一封电子邮件。 要点: 确性不够。 单词误用 1. 问题: 2. 手机不响铃,不能发短 信;该产品已售完,无 法更换;型号新,无配 件,无法维修。 2. 要求:公司应尽快予以 语态错误 更换。 注意: 1. 词数为100左右; 2. 参考词汇:配件—— spare part 动词用 3. 电子邮件的开头和结尾 已为你写好(不计入你 法错误 所写词数); 4. 已给出的电子邮件的开 头和结尾不得抄入答题 卡。

15

When I bought it home, I found there were several problems about the quality of the mobile phone. There is no ring in the new mobile phone, besides, it can not be used to send short messages. When I want back to the local company, the manager told me this product has sold out and that I wasn’t able to change it. What’s worse, this style mobile phone is a new product, there is no spare part and can’t to be repaired. These problems worries me most. I hope your company would change it for me as soon as possible.

第四部分:书面表达(满分 【分析】全文共九 25分) 假设你是卜曼宜,你购 个句子 ,其中有 买了一部某外国公司生 产的手机,因有质量问 题,要求该公司更换。 , 两个时间状语从句 请根据下列要点,用英 一个并列句 ; 文写一封电子邮件。 要点: 一个倒装句 ; 1. 问题: 一个表语从句。 2. 手机不响铃,不能发短 信;该产品已售完,无 运用了 however, 法更换;型号新,无配 in the first place, 件,无法维修。 2. 要求:公司应尽快予以更 in addition, 换。 worse 注意: still, 1. 词数为 100左右; in brief 2. 参考词汇:配件—— 五个过渡性词汇。 spare part 3. 电子邮件的开头和结尾已 运用了 为你写好(不计入你所 available, 写词数); 4. 已给出的电子邮件的开头 alternative 和结尾不得抄入答题卡。

25

两个较高级词语。

However However, some problems are Inthe the presented with this mobile phone. In first place, place, when there are phone calls, first the mobile phone just can’t ring. In In addition, short messages can never be addition, sent. when I came back to the mall for exchange, I was disappointed to be told that this model had been sold out. Worse still still, it is a new model, thus no spare part is available available at the moment. Nowhere can I have this phone repaired. alternatives Maybe there are some alternatives to handle this case, but I hope it can be dealt with and solved as soon as possible. In brief, my personal viewpoint is that you replace this mobile phone. I’m looking forward to your reply.

20

学生作品 (6班 王军) 强调句型,表语从句,形 A new product named NOAH-DICT has been put on sale lately. 式主语句型,宾语从句的 It is a kind of electrical dictionary produced by Chengxin Company 运用 Ltd, which is located in Shenzhen China. The new product has many advantages, one of which is that the 过去分词 dictionary contains millions of words and phrases, and it can 作定语的 translate Chinese into English each other in a voice which resembles 运用 real people’s voice. What’s more, more information and extremely books can be downloaded if necessary. The product is researched by twenty years’ efforts, and it is the high technology that controls the dictionary, which makes you get information more quickly. It is convienient for you to take because it is made of light metal and in small size. It not only can be operated 定语从句 easily but also the price is reasonable. I believe that the new product will be a good friend in your life. 的运用

【高分的理由】 1. 3. 各种句式及结构的合理运用 【高分的理由】 要点全面,时态正确
【高分的理由】2. 连接词的适当运用

学生作品 A new product named NOAH-DICT has been put on sale lately. It is a kind of electrical dictionary produced by Chengxin Company Ltd, which is located in Shenzhen China. The new product has many advantages, one of which is that the dictionary contains millions of words and phrases, and it can translate Chinese into English each other in a voice which resembles extremely real people’s voice. What’s more, more information and books can be downloaded if necessary. The product is researched by twenty years’ efforts, and it is the high technology that controls the dictionary, which makes you get information more quickly. It is convienient for you to take because it is made of light metal and in small size. It not only can be operated easily but also the price is reasonable. I believe that the new product will be a good friend in your life. electrical 应改为 electronic convienient 的正确书写为convenient 部分表达欠准确

【美中不足】

14

【分数不理想的原因】 1. 多处表达或用词不准确
2. 基础词汇拼写错误 3. 过渡衔接不自然 4. 文面不整洁

学生作品佳句欣赏 Our company has produced a new product named NOAH-DICT, which is made in Shenzhen, China. (18班吴胜莉) Designed by Chengxin company Ltd, the electronic dictionary named NOAH-DICT was produced in Shenzhen, China. ( 20班李瑞洁) The new product is an electronic dictionary which can store millions of words as well as expressions. (6班肖红) This kind of electronic dictionary contains millions of words and expressions which are essential for both middle school students and college students. (18班江静) Two decades of hard work with thousands of failures, our researchers make the breakthrough eventually, that is, the NOAH-DICT. (18班刘琬) What deserves attention is that the product is the achievement of nearly 20 years’ research. (6班王超)

学生作品佳句欣赏

It is more a small computer than a normal dictionary. (18班刘琬) It has so many functions that it is almost as smart as a computer. (20班杨凯) Downloading e-books is also available for you. (18班刘琬) It provides the function of downloading the electronic books to broaden your horizons. (18班李辰) The volume of NOAH-DICT is small, thus it can be carried and operated easily. (6班刘小晶) Wherever you go you can carry it conveniently for its small size. (6班黄冬) What’s the most important is that its price is very reasonable. (18班方新)

Common mistakes in our writing(学生出现的集中错处)

Drifting off the topic or leaving out some required information Simple and direct translation / Chinglish expressions Improper sentence patterns and improper words 主要是electric, electrical和electronic 的误用 Spelling mistakes
长单词的正确拼写: convenient, pronunciation 易混淆单词的运用: metal & medal price & prize 过去分词的正确拼写: controlled heard

双写的 “l”

【反思】 How to get high mark?

Five characteristics of outstanding writing: (高分作文的五大特性) 1. sense of order (条理性: 段落完整,层次分明) 2. accuracy (准确性: 语法准确,用词精当)

3. fluency (流畅性: 层次清晰,行文连贯)
4. conciseness & variety (简洁、多样性: 语言简

洁,不重复)
5. ideological content (思想性: 文章立意高,表

达个人观点内容积极向上)

Another writing task

随着网络的发展,目前很多人给好友发电子贺卡。请根据以 下提示阐述电子贺卡的优越性。 1.除图像外,还可以传递动画和声音,生动,有趣;传递速 度快; 2.形式多样,还可以 Flash 或其他软体自己设计贺卡; 3.省纸张,有利于保护树木和环境。 注意: 1.文章包括以上要点,可适当发挥。不要逐条翻译。 2.词数:100左右。 3.参考词汇:电子贺卡— electronic card 动画—animation


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