How can we understand each other much better?
Misunderstandings may frequently occur in our everyday life. For example, there is a misunderstanding when people
use the same words but do not mean the same things. Misunderstanding may also arise between people who behave differently. Misunderstanding each other may cause a lot of trouble in our daily life. Many a quarrel has come about through misunderstanding. Generation gaps appear because of misunderstandings. A serious misunderstanding fractures (使……破裂) friendship. When a couple misunderstand each other badly, marriage is likely to break up. Misunderstanding can lead to great problems for both teachers and students and other relationships .Then how can we clear up misunderstandings?
The first : active listening.
The second : speak directly and clearly The third : speak about yourself, not about others.
The fourth : speak for a purpose.
? Pay close attention to what others say. ? if you are not sure about what the other person: (1 )Be honest and modest. Claim to know what you know, don’t claim to know what you don’t know, and this is wisdom. (知之为知之，不 知为不知，是知也。) don’t feel ashamed to ask, “Pardon, I didn’t catch your meaning.” or “I’m sorry. Would you please explain it again?” (2) you can say:“ So what you want to say is ...."In this way, you can infirm the message that you received . This shows that you are listening and that you understand what they have said. It does not indicate that you agree with what they said, nor do you have to. You just need to indicate that you do understand them.
1. This is not considered appropriate in some cultures, you should be aware of cultural differences and respect mutual (相互的) differences. but when permitted, it helps to increase understanding. Avoid being distracted by others, or by other things going on in the same room. Focus on what you have to say, and on saying it in a way that your opponent can understand. 2.Don’t use ambiguous (有歧义的) words. Next, highlight your important points. Make sure that others know what your major concerns are.
1.Describe your own feelings and perceptions, rather than focusing on others’ motives, misdeeds, or failings. By saying, "I felt let down," rather than "You broke your promise," you will convey the same information, in a way that does not provoke a defensive or hostile reaction from him 2.State a problem, without blaming someone for it. This makes it easier for the other side to help solve the problem, without having to admit they were wrong.
Too much communication can be counterproductive, so before you make a significant statement, pause and consider what you want to communicate and why you want to communicate that, and how you can do it in the clearest possible way.
Though it is impossible to eliminate all misunderstandings, if you keep all the tips above in mind, you will, to the greatest extent, avoid many potential misunderstandings and understand each other better. Without misunderstandings between people, the world will be a better one, and everyone can enjoy a harmonious ( 和 谐 的 ) and happy life..