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英文幽默故事


Lady First 女士优先 A teacher asked her class: "Is the sentence ' The ox and the cow are in the fields' correct?" Most of the children said: "Yes, it is all right!" An

d only one little boy said: "No, it is not correct. The lady must be mentioned first."

Sentence:句子 Correct:正确的 Ox:公牛 Cow:母牛 Field:田野 Most:大多数的 Mention:提起 First:首先 The Reason of Being Late Teacher: Johnny, why are you late for school every morning? Johnny: Every time I come to the corner, a guidepost says, 'School -- Go Slow'. Reason:原因 Corner:角落 Guidepost:指示牌 Slow:缓慢的

Not long after an old Chinese woman came back to China from her visit to her daughter in the States, she went to a city bank to deposit the US dollars her daughter gave her.

At the bank counter, the clerk checked each note carefully to see if the money was real. It made the old lady out of patience.

At last she could not hold any more, uttering. "Trust me, Sir, and trust the money. They are real US dollars. They are directly from America."

States:美国 Deposit:存钱 Dollars:美元 Counter:柜台 Clerk:职员 Check:检查 Note:钞票 Carefully:仔细的

Real:真的 Patience:耐心 Hold:把持 Not any more:不再 Trust:信任 Directly:直接 Mary was an English girl, but she lived in Rome. She was six years old. Last year her mother said to her, “You’re six years old now, Mary, and you’re going to begin going to a school here. You’re going to like it very much, because it’s a nice school.” “Is it an English school” Mary asked.” Yes, it is,” her mother said. Mary went to the school, and enjoyed her lessons. Her mother always took her to school in the morning and brought her home in the afternoon. Last Monday her mother went to the school at 4 o’clock, and Mary ran out of her class. “We’ve got a new girl in our class today, Mummy,” she said. “She’s six years old too, and she’s very nice, but she isn’t English. She’s German.” “Does she speak English” Mary’s mother asked.” No, but she laughs in English,” Mary said happily.

Live:居住 Last year:去年 Enjoy:享受 Take:带,拿走 Bring:带回 German:德国人

Laugh:大笑 An old lady went out shopping last Tuesday. She came to a bank and saw a car near the door. A man got out of it and went into the bank. She looked into the car. The keys were in the lock. The old lady took the keys and followed the man into the bank. The man took a gun out of his pocket and said to the clerk, “Give me all the money.” But the old lady did not see this. She went to the man, put the keys in his hand and said, “Young man, you’re stupid! Never leave your keys in your car: someone’s going to steal it!” The man looked at the old woman for a few seconds. Then he looked at the clerk—and then he took his keys, ran out of the bank, got into his car and drove away quickly, without any money.

Lock:锁子 Follow:跟随 Gun:枪 Clerk:职员 Steal:偷 Second:秒 Mr. Jones had a few days’ holiday, so he said, “I’m going to go to the mountains by train.” He put on his best clothes, took a small bag, went to the station and got on the train. He had a beautiful hat, and he often put his head out of the window during the trip and looked at the mountains. But the wind pulled his hat off. Mr. Jones quickly took his old bag and threw that out of the window too. The other people in the carriage laughed. “Is your bag going to bring your beautiful hat back” they asked. “No,” Mr. Jones answered, “but there’s no name and no address in my hat, and there’s a name and address on the bag. Someone’s going to find both of them near each other, and he’s going to send me the bag and the hat.”

During:在。 。 。期间 Trip:旅行 Pull:拽 Carriage:车厢 Address:地址


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