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高三复习写作讲评课4.10(高考复习公开课课件)


二轮复习专题 Assessing & Improving of Writing
写作评估与高分指导
桃源县第一中学 李学杰

Step I Lead in
健康与财富一直是人们讨论的一个热门话题, 究竟 哪个更重要, 而有的人认为财富比健康更重要, 请以 Health and Wealth为题写一篇英文短文。 提示: 1

. 简述人们对“健康与财富”的两种不同看法;

2. 简述你自己的观点及理由。

Work show
Nowadays, people are paying much attention to their health and wealth. Which is more important for our daily life? Different people have different opinions. Some people believe that wealth is more important. Although money can’t bring us anything, one can do nothing without it. People work hard to earn money, because it can keep our family or even others a comfortable life. However, the majority of the people think that health is more important. It’s useless having much more money while we are in a poor state of health. What’s more, it’s unwise to achieve happiness and comfort at the cost of their health. We can also live happily even though we have little money. In my opinion, wealth will play a more and more important role in our daily life, but as students, we should keep healthy, only by this way can let us study efficiently. And there is an old Chinese saying goes: “Health is wealth”. So we can live happily with our healthy body.

How will you grade it(定档)? And why?

ASSESSMENT
Is the article divided into parts? Structure

Does each part have a topic sentence?

Content Are all the points stated?

Does the writer use any linking word?

Is there any advanced vocabulary(高级词汇)?
Language

Is there any good sentence pattern(句式)?

Step II Writing assessment: paragraphs Structure

topic sentences
points

Writing

Content

linking words

Language

advanced vocabulary

sentence patterns

Structure
Nowadays, people are paying much attention to their health and wealth. Which is more important for our daily life? Different people have different ____________________________________________________________________ opinions. ________ ______________________________________________ Some people believe that wealth is more important. Although money can’t bring us anything, one can do nothing without it. People work hard to earn money, because it can keep our family or even others a comfortable life. However, the majority of the people think that health is __________________________________________________ more important. It’s useless having much more money while we are in a _______________ poor state of health. What’s more, it’s unwise to achieve happiness and comfort at the cost of their health. We can also live happily even though we have little money. In my opinion, wealth will play a more and more important role in our __________________________________________________________________ daily life, but as students, we should keep healthy, only by this way can _________ let us study efficiently. And there is an old Chinese saying goes: “Health is wealth”. So we can live happily with our healthy body.

Points
Nowadays, people are paying much attention to their health and wealth. ①Which is more important for our daily life? Different people have different opinions. Some people believe that wealth is more important. ②Although money can’t bring us anything, one can do nothing without it. People work hard to earn money, because it can keep our family or even others a comfortable life. ③However, the majority of the people think that health is more important. ④It’s useless having much more money while we are in a poor state of health. What’s more, it’s unwise to achieve happiness and comfort at the cost of their health. ⑤We can also live happily even though we have little money. In my opinion, wealth will play a more and more important role in our daily life, but as students, we should keep healthy, only by this way can let us study efficiently. ⑥And there is an old Chinese saying goes: Health is wealth. So we can live happily with our healthy body.

Language
Nowadays, people are paying much attention to their health and wealth. Which is more important for our daily life? Different people have different opinions. Some people believe that wealth is more important. Although money can’t bring us anything, one can do nothing _________ _____________________ without it. People work hard to earn money, because it can __________ keep our family or even others a comfortable life. However, _________ the majority of the people think that health is more important. ___________________________________________________________________ It’s useless having much more money while we are in a poor ______________________ state of health. What’s more, it’s unwise to achieve ___________ _________________________ happiness and comfort at the cost of their health. We can ______________________________________________________ also live happily even though we have little money. __________ In my opinion, wealth will play a more and more important role in our daily life, but as students, we should keep healthy, _____________ only by this way can let us study efficiently. And there is an ______________________________ old Chinese saying _______ “ Health is wealth”. So we can live goes: happily with our healthy body.

Practice
A …________. Students who prefer wealth to health hold the view that ______ money can’t bring them everything, one can do C nothing without it. In order to accumulate as much money as possible, they’re willing to do anything in any way and at any cost. ______, many students consider health to be more important. B They believe that without much money, people can still get along. While once health is lost, it is no use having a lot of money. _______, it is understandable for people to earn much money D with which they can ensure themselves, their family members a comfortable life. But it is unwise to achieve happiness and comfort at the cost of health. So let’s try to keep fit and live a healthy life. A.There are several reasons behind B. However C. Though D. As far as I am concerned

Practice ①When they are working, they don’t care their health.

②Every day, they have much work to do in order to make money. They are too busy to remember the health.
③ It will raise the awareness of our health.

People will have a better understanding of health.

When they are working, they don’t care their health.
(用非谓语动词结构改写) When working, they don’t care their health.

Every day, they have much work to do in order to make money. They can’t remember the health.
(用with的复合结构改写) With so much work to do, they have trouble in remembering the health.

It will raise the awareness of our health. People will have a better understanding of health. (用not only…but also…结构改写)
Not only will it raise the awareness of our health, but also people will have a better understanding of health.

It will be necessary _________________ for everybody to realize not to waste health for the sake of wealth. (活用it句型)

Consequently _____________ (因此), paying too much attention to making money and spending little time on rest will strongly influence people’s health . (副词)

Some other useful adverbs:

briefly, definitely, fortunately, hopefully, seriously, namely, unfortunately , eventually, similarly, certainly, obviously, furthermore, otherwise, nevertheless …

with复合结构 非谓语动词

Sentence structures

it句型活用 倒装句型 副词 ……

Production
? ? ? ? ? ? Improve the composition Focus on (1) topic sentences: If not, come up with one (2) points: If not, add the missing points (3) linking words: If not, add some (4) advanced vocabulary & patterns

Writing material:
中央号召创建节约型社会,可是许多校园内部 浪费现象严重。请你写一篇短文,号召同学们从我 做起,杜绝浪费。 提示:1、浪费现象:水、电、餐厅的食物及其他; 2、危害:自身性格,父母财政负担,自然资 源; 3、制止浪费现象的措施:由自己设想。 要求:1、写一篇词数120左右的短文; 2、不要逐字逐条翻译,要组成一篇通顺连 贯的短文。

Some students leave tap water running after washing. Some students have the lights on in the daytime. Some students order too much food and leave a lot of leftovers on the table. Some ask their parents for a lot of pocket money and spend too much on snacks or drinks. The bad habit of being wasteful will have a bad effect on their own character. It adds financial burden to their parents. In my opinion, we should have a clear awareness of the serious situation. We should educate the students to form the good habit. We should start with ourselves and take the lead in reducing the waste to save everything.

Some students leave tap water running after washing. Some students have the lights on in the daytime. Some students order too much food and leave a lot of leftovers on the table. Some ask their parents for a lot of pocket money and spend too much on snacks or drinks. The bad habit of being wasteful will have a bad effect on their own character. It adds financial burden to their parents. In my opinion, we should have a clear awareness of the serious situation. We should educate the students to form the good habit. We should start with ourselves and take the lead in reducing the waste to save everything.

Some students leave tap water running after washing. Some students have the lights on in the daytime. Some students order too much food and leave much leftovers on the table. Some ask their parents for a lot of pocket money and spend too much on snacks or drinks.

…,The students leave tap water running after washing and have the lights on in the daytime, which means a huge waste of water and electricity. Some students get into a bad habit of ordering much delicious food in the canteen but they don’t eat all the food, leaving much on the table. Some ask their parents for a lot of pocket money. So it is high time we had to deal with the problem. The reasons are as follows:

The bad of all of being wasteful will have a bad First habit In addition, effect on their own character. It adds financial Firstly, burden to their parents. The world’s Besides,natural limited To begin with, Moreover, resources will be used up. What’s more In the first place, the bad habit of being wasteful will have a bad effect on their own character. Secondly, it adds financial burden to their parents. Last but not least, the world’s limited natural resources, such as water and electricity , will be used up soon. Finally, What’s worse,

In my opinion, we should have a clear awareness of the serious situation. We should educate the students to form the good habit. We should start with ourselves and take the lead in reducing the waste to save everything.

But how can we reduce waste? In my opinion, it is everybody’s duty to fight against waste. On the one hand, I should start with myself to save everything . On the other hand, I’d like to remind my friends here to take the lead in reducing the waste.

Nowadays, it is common that the students have tap water running after washing and leave the lights on in the daytime, which means a huge waste of water and electricity. Some students get into a bad habit of ordering much delicious food in the canteen but they don’t eat all the food, leaving much on the table. Some even ask their parents for a lot of pocket money. So it is high time we had to deal with the problem. The reasons are as follows: In the first place, the bad habit of being wasteful will have a bad effect on their own character. Secondly, it adds financial burden to their parents. Last but not least, it also exhausts the world’s limited natural resources, such as water and electricity. But how can we reduce waste? In my opinion, it is everybody’s duty to fight against waste. On the one hand, I should start with myself to save everything. On the other hand, I’d like to remind my friends here to take the lead in reducing the waste.

Homework

Further improve the writing according to the assessment form. Make your final copy as neat as possible.

May you succeed in your studies!


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